I Told My Therapist About You — Crossing Chances

“Awareness is bliss”; another lining I finally discovered, again.

I never recognized how I mindlessly keeping track of what I need to do (aka to-do-list) each for a day, a week, a month, or as long as I can tangible-ize how my universe would look like in my head, for sure. Little did I know, am not the only one in charge of keeping it on-track. That am not the solo soul whose unconscious work is to make sure it all “checked”. That all these times, there has always been another one whose main job is similar, just to check on different perspectives. He has more experiences, capabilities of seeing the bigger picture, attention to details; and yet so good in keeping all secret, not to mention my unconscious WIP ego that been bottling up my gut to ask - making these whole things turn into a mindless limbo. You might also be so well-aware of his existence, or be as mindless as I was. Introducing to you, he is whom people called the Universe.

Looking back at it,
while am busy checking to-do-list, making sure they are checked and done; or postponed within my range; the Universe been actually doing the same, in his case it’s just that he keeps on track something I miss. Something I do not see coming, patiently waiting and wholeheartedly bang me in the face at the exact right time, place and ambience for the sake of my learning.

Losing the picture of it,
is one of my inner capabilities.

Just like this one time where
“As much as these whole things are one-sided, you once were too. You could have stopped it better, but you chose the painful crashing tollroad. So typical of you. See you never.”

Immature, full of anger, hatred, dismissing willingness to go forward, bet you see all these too (especially the last line).
Just that time, he kindly show me the showcasted line of words I shall make a slogan and alter-ego of what might crash me going forward: don’t cheat your future with your past.

I won’t.

Another lesson learnt would be, while I mindlessly checking the on-going to-do-list; the universe is also busy doing the same thing. Difference lies in how it is crossing chances I miss, for the upcoming timeslot I got to learn and going out alive. Like every single time.

Including this one moment where I know and will finally comprehend,
how we don’t stand a chance.